Maybe baby???

Before I start this post let me say Blake and I love Austin dearly.  If we never have another child we will still consider ourselves blessed beyond belief and will never feel something is missing in our family.  I think it is because our family seems so strong that we want to bring another baby into this world.  I have my moments, so does Blake, but we are good parents and we have a lot of love to give.  And Austin will make an AMAZING big brother.  Which is why we are working on having another little Cannon.  

We actually started trying to get pregnant a year and a half ago.  I tracked my ovulation, used predictor kits and blah, blah, blah.  No luck.  I had been trying to get Blake to go to the urologist but it never seemed to be a huge priority to either of us.  We took the if it's going to happen, it will happen approach.  That is until about a month ago.  Blake went to his specialist who treats his Behcets disease and they prescribed him a new medicine to take in addition to his infusions.  They warned him this new medicine may cause birth defects and not to father a child while on it.  WAIT!!! What?  Well that kicked us into drive for sure and we've been working very intentionally to identify the problem and find a solution to get pregnant.  We made an executive decision over the doctors that we would postpone Blake's meds for a couple of months and try to have a baby.

When I first called the doctor to get myself an appointment they scheduled me for June 5 (yesterday).  After a couple of phone calls and pleading my case, a super nice nurse moved me up by 2 weeks.  Thanks to my wonderful friend Jennifer, Blake went to see Dr. Emery for an analysis the day after we called.  It's good to be friends with a doctor's wife!  Blake was diagnosed with low count, probably due to all the meds he's been on for the Behcets.  That was a bummer but it did make us a candidate for more aggressive options. We were referred to Arkansas Fertility and our first appointment was yesterday.

I had no idea what to expect.  My biggest fear was that we would get a doctor who would take his time and try to do a lot of tests and time was the one thing I didn't feel like we had.  But I've heard Dr. Batres is the best so we went to the appointment very hopeful and having said a lot of prayers!  Batres was as amazing as his reputation.  He carefully explained our insurance benefits, or lack thereof, and to my fear said we will need to test you for ABC...XYZ.  Then he said "would you like to do this today?"  Yes, today! So of course, I said YES!  Then he said, we also need to take an X-Ray of your tubes and tomorrow is the perfect day for that. Can you come back to Little Rock?  Wonderful news!

So yesterday we did a bunch of blood work and an internal ultrasound.  Everything looked good.  Today Blake took my back to LR to the hospital for an HSG, which is an x-ray of the uterus and tubes using contrast to make sure everything is open.  This made me really nervous, mostly because I was given a prescription to Vicodin for the procedure.  I mean, I watched Dr. House, Vicodin??? How bad was this going to get?

A couple pictures of me "before" waiting for the nurse to take me back. I knew I was going to blog this, so why not take a few pictures!  All smiles at least.  I was very nervous.  I had a bad feeling it was going to be painful.  

What a fashion statement!  I had to get a pic of the hospital gown and socks/shoes.  Hey, they told me to put them back on.  
 
My "friend" for the procedure.  One before, one after.  It really did calm me down and relax me. 

And the hubs reading his kindle while we waited for the Dr.  Blake was a true trooper today!  He even thanked me for going through with the procedure.  I thought that was amazingly sweet!!

There are no after pictures, just suffice it to say it wasn't pretty.  The procedure HURT something awful even with the pain meds.  They gave me a topical too.  Can't imagine what the procedure would feel like without that.  It was fairly quick and uneventful.  One of my tubes had a spasm or something and it took a minute for the fluid to go through.  While it was building so was the pain.  When it was over I almost passed out.  They had to sit me down in a chair while my vision was coming and going.  I was so weak I couldn't hold my own water cup and I came very close to vomiting.  Fun times.  

Fortunately, the tests were clear.  It made me really sad to think of all the women who go through that without getting the same positive results as I received.  As much physical pain as I felt, I know it pales in comparison to the emotional pain of not being able to have a baby when you want one.  

After the X-ray we went back to Dr. Batres office for a treatment plan.  We are still waiting for 2 more blood test results and we should have those tomorrow.  If those are clear I will start using an ovulation predictor kit on Sunday and as soon as I get a hormone surge we will go to LR the next day for a little 'turkey basting' :)  I wanted things to happen fast, but wow, this is fast!!  

The odds we get pregnant are still a lot lower than I would like.  Just 15-20% which is about normal for most couples.  If it doesn't work, we can probably afford one or two more cycles but will likely have to freeze the swimmers because Blake will have to start taking his new meds.  

Either way it is exciting and we are both hopeful for the future.  It's hard for me to say let God's will be done if I am going to such extremes to get pregnant.  Maybe his will was for Austin to be an only child.  And if that's the case I have no doubt this procedure will not be successful and I'm ok with that. I'm not trying to take it out of God's hands, just use the modern technology he provided :-)  I do hope He's ok with that.  

Well there is our story.  If you know me at all you know I'm an open book and will continue to share our journey.  It's emotional but in a good way.  My birthday is July 2, so maybe I will have good news to share at that time.  And if not, I'm still going to have an amazing birthday with the best husband and son!  I'm thankful for all the blessings I have been given. I look forward to the future, whatever it may hold!