Sun, sons, shots and sangria

Day 1 at the beach was amazing, as expected! We wanted to get to the beach early so it wasn't so hot. We arrived around 930 and Austin immediately wanted to jump the waves. I swear I could post pics from our beach trip two years ago and this years trips and you couldn't tell a difference. Blake and Austin are both in the same trunks!!

We had a blast at the beach and headed to Poes Tavern for lunch. Unfortunately they had a no shirt, no shoes, no service policy and Austin didn't meet the first criteria! Our waiter hooked Austin up with a cool new tee and we enjoyed an amazing burger topped with a crab cake!

 

After we returned from the beach, Bri and I headed to the store to make a yummy dinner. We bought groceries and decided to hit the bar for a jäger bomb for old times sake! Next stop was the liquor store, followed by one last shot!

Lastly was dinner and Sangria and both were awesome!! Fresh strawberries, peaches, oranges and limes plus wine and ginger ale! What's not to love!!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store!

2ww

Ahhh the 2 week wait. It really is a difficult process. I've been over analyzing every single twitch my body makes. I'm not sleeping, am I pregnant? I'm cranky, am I pregnant? I sneezed, am I pregnant?? Ugh!! There should definitely be a better test that tells you instantly. But no such luck. I've tested about three times in the last couple days, all BFNs. Big Fat Negative if you aren't well versed in fertility lingo. I've been reading the message boards constantly in my off time. No wonder I can't sleep. I've told myself over and over that God has a plan for us and it might not include a baby right now. I know that's true but it's still hard to swallow. I am such a newbie at this and can't even imagine the anguish others feel going through this month after month after month. If you are reading this right now please stop to say a prayer for those hopeful parents! Many have a long journey full of loss and heartbreak.

I don't feel pregnant, though I'm not sure you can feel it this early. I've not given up hope but I am trying to be realistic and the reality is the iui only gave us a 25% chance at pregnancy. Odds aren't great. Ok, no more whining here! Just had to get that out. I think this will be our one and only cycle so I'll find new topics to blog about, promise!

I'm going to go tuck my little guy in to bed now and be thankful for what I have because I am blessed!

Austin and God

Several months ago when we first found out my brother and his wife were expecting their first child, we were all talking about what the baby might be: boy or girl.  Austin said very matter of fact, "its a boy."  I questioned him a little by asking "so you want it to  be a boy?" He said "no, it is a boy."  I said well honey what makes you think that?   He said, "God told me."  Simple and clear.  Several months later I wasn't surprised when we found out they were in deed having a boy.  

Last week Austin hit God up for another favor.  We were saying our prayer before dinner and Austin adds in "God, please bring Mary Katherine to karate and let her do karate with me." Mary Katherine is one of his favorite little friends at school.  Today when we arrive at karate, there is Mary Katherine all dressed up in her Lil' Ninja gear.  She is going to start doing karate! Austin acted very shy but he was thrilled to have her there!  

Well lucky us, we got the hormone surge this morning and go in for the insemination first thing in the morning! 

That smiley face was a welcome change from all the empty circles I was getting! I was starting to get nervous.  

Today Austin had made a wish and wrote it down...

Notice that & in there?  Not a brother OR sister but a brother AND sister!  This is one time I hope Austin and God disagree on what is best for us, lol.  We could handle twins, just not sure I could do it with my sanity still in tact.  And I'm pretty sure Blake would permanently move into his man cave.  

Please say extra prayers for us tomorrow!  We should know something, one way or the other, in early July!

Maybe baby???

Before I start this post let me say Blake and I love Austin dearly.  If we never have another child we will still consider ourselves blessed beyond belief and will never feel something is missing in our family.  I think it is because our family seems so strong that we want to bring another baby into this world.  I have my moments, so does Blake, but we are good parents and we have a lot of love to give.  And Austin will make an AMAZING big brother.  Which is why we are working on having another little Cannon.  

We actually started trying to get pregnant a year and a half ago.  I tracked my ovulation, used predictor kits and blah, blah, blah.  No luck.  I had been trying to get Blake to go to the urologist but it never seemed to be a huge priority to either of us.  We took the if it's going to happen, it will happen approach.  That is until about a month ago.  Blake went to his specialist who treats his Behcets disease and they prescribed him a new medicine to take in addition to his infusions.  They warned him this new medicine may cause birth defects and not to father a child while on it.  WAIT!!! What?  Well that kicked us into drive for sure and we've been working very intentionally to identify the problem and find a solution to get pregnant.  We made an executive decision over the doctors that we would postpone Blake's meds for a couple of months and try to have a baby.

When I first called the doctor to get myself an appointment they scheduled me for June 5 (yesterday).  After a couple of phone calls and pleading my case, a super nice nurse moved me up by 2 weeks.  Thanks to my wonderful friend Jennifer, Blake went to see Dr. Emery for an analysis the day after we called.  It's good to be friends with a doctor's wife!  Blake was diagnosed with low count, probably due to all the meds he's been on for the Behcets.  That was a bummer but it did make us a candidate for more aggressive options. We were referred to Arkansas Fertility and our first appointment was yesterday.

I had no idea what to expect.  My biggest fear was that we would get a doctor who would take his time and try to do a lot of tests and time was the one thing I didn't feel like we had.  But I've heard Dr. Batres is the best so we went to the appointment very hopeful and having said a lot of prayers!  Batres was as amazing as his reputation.  He carefully explained our insurance benefits, or lack thereof, and to my fear said we will need to test you for ABC...XYZ.  Then he said "would you like to do this today?"  Yes, today! So of course, I said YES!  Then he said, we also need to take an X-Ray of your tubes and tomorrow is the perfect day for that. Can you come back to Little Rock?  Wonderful news!

So yesterday we did a bunch of blood work and an internal ultrasound.  Everything looked good.  Today Blake took my back to LR to the hospital for an HSG, which is an x-ray of the uterus and tubes using contrast to make sure everything is open.  This made me really nervous, mostly because I was given a prescription to Vicodin for the procedure.  I mean, I watched Dr. House, Vicodin??? How bad was this going to get?

A couple pictures of me "before" waiting for the nurse to take me back. I knew I was going to blog this, so why not take a few pictures!  All smiles at least.  I was very nervous.  I had a bad feeling it was going to be painful.  

What a fashion statement!  I had to get a pic of the hospital gown and socks/shoes.  Hey, they told me to put them back on.  
 
My "friend" for the procedure.  One before, one after.  It really did calm me down and relax me. 

And the hubs reading his kindle while we waited for the Dr.  Blake was a true trooper today!  He even thanked me for going through with the procedure.  I thought that was amazingly sweet!!

There are no after pictures, just suffice it to say it wasn't pretty.  The procedure HURT something awful even with the pain meds.  They gave me a topical too.  Can't imagine what the procedure would feel like without that.  It was fairly quick and uneventful.  One of my tubes had a spasm or something and it took a minute for the fluid to go through.  While it was building so was the pain.  When it was over I almost passed out.  They had to sit me down in a chair while my vision was coming and going.  I was so weak I couldn't hold my own water cup and I came very close to vomiting.  Fun times.  

Fortunately, the tests were clear.  It made me really sad to think of all the women who go through that without getting the same positive results as I received.  As much physical pain as I felt, I know it pales in comparison to the emotional pain of not being able to have a baby when you want one.  

After the X-ray we went back to Dr. Batres office for a treatment plan.  We are still waiting for 2 more blood test results and we should have those tomorrow.  If those are clear I will start using an ovulation predictor kit on Sunday and as soon as I get a hormone surge we will go to LR the next day for a little 'turkey basting' :)  I wanted things to happen fast, but wow, this is fast!!  

The odds we get pregnant are still a lot lower than I would like.  Just 15-20% which is about normal for most couples.  If it doesn't work, we can probably afford one or two more cycles but will likely have to freeze the swimmers because Blake will have to start taking his new meds.  

Either way it is exciting and we are both hopeful for the future.  It's hard for me to say let God's will be done if I am going to such extremes to get pregnant.  Maybe his will was for Austin to be an only child.  And if that's the case I have no doubt this procedure will not be successful and I'm ok with that. I'm not trying to take it out of God's hands, just use the modern technology he provided :-)  I do hope He's ok with that.  

Well there is our story.  If you know me at all you know I'm an open book and will continue to share our journey.  It's emotional but in a good way.  My birthday is July 2, so maybe I will have good news to share at that time.  And if not, I'm still going to have an amazing birthday with the best husband and son!  I'm thankful for all the blessings I have been given. I look forward to the future, whatever it may hold!